Limbo

No, I'm not referring to the fun party game where the question of the night is "How low can you go?". Webster's explains it well as "a place or state of restraint or confinement" and "an intermediate or transitional place or state". In Layman's terms... I feel stuck. Not with life in general, but in certain areas I feel stagnant, unmotivated, and incapable.

We want to move. We want to move BADLY. To a house. With a yard. Fenced, please. And more than one bathroom. In Vancouver. We have the money and means to move, with one exception. In order for us to move to Vancouver, Kjell needs to find a job there. Commuting just isn't an option for him since his truck guzzles gas. So finding a job is proving to be more difficult than either of us thought it would be seeing as how there aren't ANY jobs out there, let alone any that pay well. So now we're kind of... stagnant I guess. We can't really DO anything to move in that direction until we find him a job. *Sigh*

I'm also struggling with my body and workout. There are areas of my body that just don't seem to be changing no matter what I do. I want my legs to be lean and toned. I want my booty to be firm and cute. I want to get rid of that little layer of fat on my lower belly. I want all the hard work that I'm putting into eating right and exercising to SHOW! I don't think I'm asking too much, but maybe I am? Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of how far I've come... almost 60 lbs lost from my heaviest weight... but I'm not completely happy. Yet. Maybe I need to find more motivation to step up those workouts... but how?

On the positive side of things...

I love my husband, he's wonderful! He understands me and loves me unconditionally, despite all my quirks and flaws, which just makes me love him more. He is my cheerleader and spokesperson to everyone he comes across. He's like a good bra... supportive in all the right areas of my life. I couldn't imagine how chaotic my life would be without him in it. We have two amazing, albeit psychotic, dogs who keep us on our toes and constantly provide us with laughter and smiles. Our apartment is cute and it's our cozy little home, and I'm thankful we have that.

I'm so happy with all of my friends, new and old! I've met an amazing group of people this past year, and I'm fortunate enough to attend a studio and be a part of an amazing hip hop company that encompasses many of them. Life in Portland just wouldn't be the same without those people making appearances throughout the weeks of my life.

Life is good right now, I just wish I didn't feel so stuck sometimes. I wish the "limbo" I'm experiencing now involved Caribbean music, sandy beaches and yummy cocktails. And hunky men in grass skirts. :)