Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Dear Winter,

This has been quite the season, eh? Lots of excitement whether we wanted it or not. Let's reflect on these past couple of months...

This year we've broken some 130+ year record for snowfall in the Portland, OR area. Great for the skiiers and snowboarders and others who love to spend all of their time warming their extremeties after playing in the snow all day, not so great for those of us who hate being cold. Seriously, what'd we ever do to you? You've been so good to us up to this point, I can't help but think you are trying to get back at us for some un-godly reason. Here we all are, a bunch of trusting Northwesterners, expecting the same mild, albeit rainy, winter we've always had. But nooo, you had a different agenda. Not only did we get one good dumping of snow that shut down my office for the week of Christmas (okay, thank you), but you keep teasing us with MORE snow and freezing temperatures. Will you make up your mind please?

Freezing Rain.
Sure it's rain. But it's FREEZING. Cold. Obnoxious. Inconvenient. Messy. As if snow wasn't enough, you just had to throw a nice layer of ice on things just to screw with us. How dare you? That was extremely uncool of you. Heh. Please, don't do it again. It'll only make people despise you more.

Bulky Clothes.
With the dose of arctic weather, what choice do we have but to bundle up? And how many fashion options does that leave us with? Not many, let me tell you. I have cute clothes, but of course you wouldn't know that because all you see on me are layers. Not the funky, cute, chic layers that are oh so in this season, but layers being worn out of the necessity to stay warm. I end up looking and feeling like the Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man, and for a newlywed, that's not a good look. I want to look like a woman, not some blob of laundry walking down the street, or even down my own hallway! I want to wear cute shoes, not "sensible" shoes that will prevent a slip or a tumble down icy stairs (again with the ice!). I don't want to wear hats anymore, either. Do you know what that does to your hair?! And if you're having a good hair day, there's nothing worse than ruining it with a freaking hat.

So, Winter, to sum it up, I think it's time for you to move on. Really, we've reached that point in our relationship where I just don't think it's going to work. I'm sorry, I know you're just "doing your thing", but it's not working for me.

No hard feelings?

Freezing in Portland,

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